Artifact of Love

What forms us and how do we form ourselves? We come into the world, gasping and squalling, pushed or tugged from the soft nest. Do we mourn for those hours (before hours) spent floating in twilight, asleep in pictureless dreams or adrift, sleepily conscious of something more, something else?

Yes. From the moment we are born, some of us mourn, and for us, birth is the first death and our mourning - the artifact of first love.

Off Track

If you are a curious person, and I am, sometimes one investigation leads to another in a relentless quest for better understanding. A burning question leads to a partial answer, that leads to another question with a incompatible answer, that leads to an irritating question and then a surprising answer, that...well, you get the idea?

In life, I am often tracking some idea. Tracking relentlessly.

I am sorry to say that today, I am off the hunt.

Question: And why is that?

Answer: Too many years. Too many loves. Too many deaths.

Question: So?

Answer: So, today I am tired.

My Son's Shoe

He took the picture. And you know what, I love his shoes, cause I love him!

Easing Into It

What am I doing right now? Standing on the shore of that ocean called Blogosphere. I've slipped off my flip flops, ready to test the waters. Nobody's watching. Alone on my shore, I look out and see not a single soul. The view is overcast. Water and sky, both grey, merge at an indiscernable horizon.

This morning I went alone to our community pool. The day was damp. Not hot, but warm enough. Overhead, dark clouds crowded out the sun. The vast blue pool was empty. Lifeguards, finished with morning tasks, put away pool cleaning equipment: a vacumn cleaner, a net on a pole.

There was no rush. I took my time easing into the water, still cool from evening rain. Everything I needed to do, I was not going to do. It was a Sunday in July. My child, immersed in electronica at home, was old enough not to miss me. My husband had gone to church. It was just me, wasting my own sweet time, easing my soft body into the water at the shallow end of the pool.